Now before I start this big fuck off rant, I thought I’d explain something before hand. I do not class myself as a “Professional” in any sort of work related-genre, I don’t have a degree, or a massive amount of qualifications for that mind. However, I am a worker, a hard worker at that. I come highly regarded by previous employers and have only been unemployed twice since I was 16 (I am now 23), Once through redundancy (currently going through that) and once when I was 18 and wanted to take another crack at college. I am not stuck up, I will work pretty much any job to get by, especially with the financial crisis that we have at the moment, but I do have some standards. I know the whole “beggars can’t be choosers” concept could kick in here, but I’d like to think I have enough work experience and enough good references from previous Employers to settle into a reasonably good job, for a reasonably good company with a reasonably good growth structure set in place.
My last (proper) position was, as you may know, a Retail Development Executive for Kodak (the camera company), great job, great pay, company car, phone, laptop etc. Loved my job, unfortunately getting back into a role like that is not the easiest of tasks. However, I thought I had hit the jackpot the other day when I found a company were looking for a person to fill a similar kind of role, except it was office based as well as field based and the salary was alot higher than that at Kodak in fact they advertised £24k basic with an OTE Bonus Structure in place as well. I thought sod it, I’ll give it a go. So I contact the company via email with a copy of my most upto date CV. After about an hour the company ring me back and offer me an interview…crackin! I thought. So today was my interview day..great….or not in this case.
Last night I decided to do some research into the company and couldn’t find a single bean on them, very odd. I knew they were a new and “upcoming” company but still you would have thought they would have a website at least. Nethertheless, I thought I’ll just go for it. So I wake up nice and fresh this morning, get showered and get into my new suit (which the Job Centre paid for..nice to know I’m getting a little something back from all the tax and National Insurance I’ve paid over the years) jump onto the 437 at Upton and head for Liverpool City Centre.
My interview was to take place at a popular Hotel chain that had a city centre branch with Executive Suites (I won’t say which hotel). I get to the hotel and ask the girl at reception where the company representative was…she had NO CLUE as to what I was on about…not a good start. She had no record of this company, and said there is a chance you might have to meet them in the bar, it’s on the 2nd floor. So I head upto the bar, to find it practically empty bar 2 people who I could tell worked for Merseyrail as it was written on their ID’s and I wasn’t being interviewed by Merseyrail. So I head to the bar, order a coffee and wait at the table. Finish my coffee and read some shit red bar rag like the Daily Mirror or whatever It was that was left on the table. Still No interviewer…I’d been waiting for half an hour. By this time, I’m getting more concerned than annoyed as I’m beginning to think I’m in the wrong hotel. So I get on the phone to the company who are interviewing me and ask what is going on. The girl explains to me “We emailed you last night, your interviewer’s name is N (shortened for privacy reasons) he should be at the bar” I had not received such an email, and STILL haven’t I head back to the bar and still absolutely no sign of anybody except the 2 people from Merseyrail.
So I sit down for another 20 minutes and just as I begin to loose patience and get upto leave a bloke wearing a scruffy jumper and kecks walks in with a bag and sits down and pulls out a laptop out of his bag. The following conversation is not 100% accurate but near enough-
Me – “Hi are you N, are you interviewing today?”
N- “Yes I am, and you are?”
Me- “Chris Barrell, I was meant to be having an interview almost an hour ago”
N – “Oh right, Ok Chris (looks through paper work), I’m sorry Chris I don’t have anything written down for you, who organised the interview with you”
Me – “I spoke to E from your company last week, she said 11.30am, (Hotel Brand name here), Liverpool City Centre”
N – “Oh Ok, just take a seat I’ll sort this paperwork out and be with you in 5 minutes.”
So already this dude has no friggen clue who I am, and is an hour late, good orginazation skills no? It gets worse.
N- “Okay, Chris we’ll begin now. Firstly, Can I see your CV please”
Me – “Erm, No, you should have been sent it already, I sent it to E from your company TWICE last week and she confirmed receipt of it on BOTH occasions”
N – (Looking Puzzled) “Oh right, I see….erm well can you go over your CV with me here”
I then begin to explain my CV, My Blue chip credentials, My B2B track record, Qualifications and my highly regarded references, ya know, trying to sell myself.
N – “Ok, that’s impressive, Let me tell you about the job in a bit more detail. Basically, we are an up and coming Broadband and Telephone called (SOME COMPANY I’VE NEVER HEARD OF), we currently own 9% of the broadband and phone market (BULLSHIT) and are looking to build up a team with great sales experience and enthusiasm to join our INTERNAL sales team”
Me – “Right, I’m sorry but it says on your add your looking for Field Development Managers, Is this a direct sales job? And is this a cold calling system job?”
N – “Predominately, yes it is, 50/50 with B2B and B2C but we are hoping to build up a field team in the next 2 to 3 years”
Me – “Right, but that’s not what it says in your ad, may I ask what the wage is please, because it says here it is £24k basic with an OTE system in place and I’ve never heard of a cold calling job especially one that deals with B2C paying that much”
N – “Well the basic is not very high however there is a great bonus scheme involved”
Me – “So it’s not £24k per annum?”
N – “It can be if targets are hit”
Me – “So what is the basic, cos I’m not really concerned about a bonus scheme and Im after a salary job and not a commission job”
N – “Erm it’s around £11k p/a at 16 hours a week”
Me – “Excuse Me, did you say £11k and 16 hours. It says here £24k BASIC and 40 Hours and NOTHING about Cold Calling.”
N – “Erm…”
Me – “Im sorry, but you have taken me for a complete ride here, you have completely misrepresented yourself in your ad, you turned up to this interview nearly an hour late, leaving me waiting around, I know I’m unemployed but I have much better things to do with my time. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but if you ask my last 2 managers from previous jobs they will tell you I’m a credit to work with and come very highly regarded from them and they are BLUECHIP companies. In all fairness mate I wouldn’t stack shelves in Netto for that wage. So we’ll say goodbye here, thanks for wasting my time and best of luck finding someone gullible to fill this position. Oh and by the way, I reccomend you take your ad down off the DIRECT GOV website (ya know a government website) before your reported, just a word of advice”
I walk out the building, with steam coming out my ears, absolutely FUMING. What a Joke, the worst part is they rang me back asking me to reconsider and maybe come for a 2nd interview, ARE THEY TAKING THE PISS. Fuck, I’m desperate to get a new job, but I’m not that desperate. What a joke. So back to it again, more jobhunting, more searching, I know THAT perfect job is out there somewhere, I’ll just keep on trying and finally get off this horrible Jobseekers Allowance crap.
Peace
B
53.388274
-3.113750
?
